What was the reason you started CORR?
Bringing people together who have caused sexual harm is the reason I started CORR. After someone has committed a sexual offense, everyone loses. Those who caused the harm lose friends, community, and sometimes family. I wanted CORR to be a place where those who’d caused harm could visit, belong, and feel cared about. One of the most protective things we can do for harm-doers is create spaces for hanging out, talking, and caring. In fact, after someone has committed a sexual offense, creating friendship that is characterized by accountability, honesty, and commitment, mitigates their future risk. Later I created other support groups at CORR. For those harmed by sexual assault, friendship and open, non-judgemental dialogue, helps them on their journey to feel safer and more connected to themselves and others. CORR is a place where we make time to bring people together who’ve had similar experiences—experiences that are hard to live with, let alone talk about. Its that simple and it works. I have observed that as people show up, open up, and care for one another—their lives improve.
What is your life’s pleasure?
After years of cultivating safety and trust within myself and with others, I have fallen in love with Love. Caring for others and being cared for is fun. So, unless I’m reading or writing, I enjoy doing anything as long as there’s love among the people I’m with. I enjoy working, going to live theater, art shows, movies, big cities, delicious restaurants, and on beautiful hikes…and I prefer to do it all with people.
Favorite line: Living in the Truth
My childhood was about hiding and pretending. I had to disconnect in order to not know the truth of my life’s situation. I watched my two-time convicted sex offender father live a lie. He was charming and smart, moneyed and funny. No one knew who he really was and that they like him, were all inadvertently living in the secrecy, too. When I got older and received help and had to admit how victimized I had been, it was intolerable. I kept the false narrative going, “I’m ok, it hasn’t really affected me.” But it had and, despite myself, I kept learning how—finally I found freedom in being honest, in living the truth.
